An Ode to Oracle’s Cloud…
- Image by Getty Images via @daylife
Try not to be
such an Oracle Hater,
Build a big, honkin’ Cloud:
Exalogic & -data
It’s fluffy & shiny
it’s new & fantastic
It scales like butta,
cos it’s so damned elastic
It may cost you millions,
but it’ll save you a buck.
Is it really a cloud?
Larry don’t give a f*ck.
It’ll castigate partners
and alienate friends
it’s got unbreakable linux
and it also self-mends
The kernel is magic,
OVM’s where it’s at
Some might disagree,
especially RedHat
Infiniband, ten Gig,
many Sun-powered cores
It’s got enough cycles
for HPC chores
The issue some have,
is Larry’s evil plot
It’s really quite simple,
a mortgage and yacht.
It’s like “War of the Roses,”
‘tween Big O, Salesforce
Gets ugly in the Valley
when partners divorce
Some CEO’s chide Larry,
and others, they scoff.
Some fire back with venom
like Mark Benioff
It’s a False Cloud, a Non-Cloud
“We’re like A-W-S”
this marketing plan
is one freakin’ mess
Just one file to patch it,
it’s IT on demand.
It’s a mainframe with JBoss,
can’t you understand!?
It’ll take all you can give it,
all you can muster,
It scales from one
to an eight headed cluster
At the end of the day,
from morning to nox
take comfort that Cloud
now comes in a box.
—
P.S. You may be interested in other little ditties I have scratched into existence, here.
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- Proceed With Caution to Oracle’s Proprietary Linux Kernel (pcworld.com)
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A cloud in a box ?
Oh joy, just my luck,
It does nothing special and
Is proprietary as fuck
I tried all I could muster
Gave all that I'd got
I bought Exa-Thingy
Just a sail for his yacht
So now I have Exa
How proudly I stand
I have one last question
It's Infiniband ?
So come buy Exa-Thingy
I shouted out loud, for
According to Larry
It's the future of Cloud
Well I've seen the future, and
It saved you a buck ?
It's "The Cloud" as you want it ?
Erm..nah, is it fuck.
Just two years ago and
Almost to the day
On the topic of Cloud
You had this much to say
"This is just too confusing
It's not what you do"
(coz our licensing model
Is per C P U)
So let's buy all the upstarts
Crush them til we're done
Oh Christ, answer one question…
Who the fuck bought up Sun ?
For they had some products
That were superb, of course
"I order you kill them"
(for they were Open Source)
So let Larry think
Cloud's no longer a farce
But you can shove Exa-Thingy
Straight up your fat arse
@Reillyusa
It's a veerrryyyyy nice-a!
😉